Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I love having hate sex.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
