Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
