This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I love you.
Bad choice
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