I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
