Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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