he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
