cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
