I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
