playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
