is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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