sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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