all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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