fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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