He told me they were just razor bumps!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
