I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
smell my finger.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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