we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
