we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
