I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
