Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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