How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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