Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
