So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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