Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
