I am in a vortex of obligation.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
