Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
