just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
