I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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