I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
