Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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