Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
