Your tits are I can't wait for
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
