Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
