if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
