perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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