Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
