walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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