I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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