We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
