So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
