I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
