we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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