Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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