You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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