he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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