Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i believe in u and ur pee
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
