i jhust puked up my retainher.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
