Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize