i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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