she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
