Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
