Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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