***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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