nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
