You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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