david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
