You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
