she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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