I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
